there aren’t enough Cadbury eggs..

***The pictures throughout this post are of the kids playing outside this past weekend.

today.  there aren’t enough Cadbury eggs to turn this day (and really just anytime lately) right side up.  I have to warn that this post might be random…and seem a little whiny…and probably wont flow or make a lot of sense…but as we know, my post reflect my brain which is all over the place.

- Trigger has anger issues.  That probably sounds bad and maybe it is.  At this point, I will not claim to be any sort of expert on behavior in children.  As I have learned from the nice child psychologist in the Wal-Mart check out line, I am in need of some help…his “kind” suggestion was to read two of James Dobson's books. I am not opposed to reading them.  It’s just that I am already behind…really behind on my Bible reading…so I need to be reading the Bible before those books.   Anyway, back to Trigger’s anger issues.  He has had sensory integration issues for a long time. He was in occupational therapy for a couple of years…along with speech therapy to help with communicating his sensory issues.  He was released last summer/beginning fall.  However, the therapists had mentioned his anger issues.  Yep, we have noticed too.  He is a passionate child…which is my teacher code for OVER THE TOP!  One minute he is PERFECT…I mean PERFECT…helpful, cooperative, carries on intelligent (for a 4.5 year old) conversations and the next minute,  he flies off the handle in anger and rage.  It’s kind of like his 2 year old behavior never went away.  We noticed it more after Campbell and again after Larkin…I realize that this is normal behavior for a child to express themselves with anger after a life change.  However, the behavior hasn’t changed.   Honestly, most days, I am put out with his behavior because I KNOW this sweet, “perfect” side exists.  When he is tired (which is most of the time because he doesn’t get enough sleep) or sick (like ive said before, WORST sick patient ever…and he’s been sick), the anger/behavior is magnified.  Today, when I picked him up from school, Mrs. Lisa said that Trigger has been pushing/shoving.  I’m really not surprised by this for two reasons: 1. he fights NON stop with Campbell…shoving, hitting, etc.  They both do it…they get in trouble but it does happen here so why should I think his reaction would be different at school.  2. We’ve had an extra difficult time with him for about 20 days (since the beginning of this last illness).  After Lisa told me this, my shoulders sank.  I was so disappointed…embarrassed….put out…etc.   I replied, “we have been dealing with lots of anger issues at home since this last illness.”  And she said “ we have been seeing it  here at school too.”  sigh…what do you say…I just apologized.  I grabbed Trigger’s hand and we walked to the car.  He knew immediately that I was disappointed.  THEN, Campbell went into a category 10 meltdown because he wanted me to hold him on the way home…while I was driving…you know, because I usually drive down the road with a child in my lap, playing with my hair.  (that was sarcastic…I do NOT drive with children in my lap.) So, I am disappointed because I just don’t know what else to do with Trigger and I’m listening to screaming “mommy, HOOOOOOLLLLLL me….ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….mommy, Hoooooollll me….ahhhhhhhh”.  I turned up the radio in the front and cried the whole way home.  This is so not me.  I don’t cry…EVER.  But, I honestly feel like I’m out of tricks….I don’t know what else to do.  So, I’m thinking it is time to discuss some things with Dr. Slusher.  I know I am way over analytic with my children…a little knowledge of disorders in children is not always a great thing.  So, Im going to have to make an appointment to discuss the behavior issues.

-Last night, Matt went back to work (he doesn’t like me to announce that but at this point, it’s done).  Campbell, of COURSE, woke up around 10pm screaming.  Matt usually goes in with him if he wakes at night because if I go in, we usually end up with a bigger problem than we started with…and it usually ends with the “mommy, hooooollllld meeeeee…ahhhhhhh”….like I heard the whole way home today.  Matt usually takes him a sip of milk…so I ran to get him a sip and we had run out of white milk….we had a new gallon in the outside fridge but I didn’t have the time to go out and get it.  I had to pour him a little of my chocolate milk.  Mommy of the year, right here.  I gave my child chocolate milk at 10 at night.  I did not pick him up because I knew that would just lead us down an ugly road.  I gave him a sip of milk, told him to lay down, and I sang him a song.   I tried to leave, MELTDOWN.  walked back over, talked about how we had to stay in bed, blah, blah, blah…meltdown…..threaten the spoon….meltdown….went to get the spoon….got him to lay down…he asked for my shirt (this has become his thing lately…he has about three of my tshirts in his bed right now) so I striped my shirt off….stood there in my bra and sang “Jesus Loves Me” and got out without another meltdown. How ridiculous…me having to sing shirtless…it’s amazing what we will succumb too just to get our children to sleep.

- It is not longer fun to give Larkin a bath.  I feel totally and completely stressed out after we get done.  She is no longer the sit-still-and-splash-a-little-while-smiling.  Nope.  She crawls everywhere…stands up….throws her body all over the place…hits her head on the tub and laughs…and my personal favorite, throws her body (and head) forward which results in her almost drowning every single time.  FUN TIMES!  When I get done with her bath, I feel certain that I have bruised a few ribs from the bathtub pushing them inwards as I throw my body over to protect her.  It isn’t fun.  not at all.

-Today Larkin is 14 months old…another post to follow.

-I am tired of this windy, cool weather.  You look out the window and it looks warm but you go out and it’s not.  I need it a little bit warmer.  However, we have been going outside every afternoon after naps. 

-Campbell still has a yucky cough.  All three are done with antibiotic and the boys are back at school.  I hope Campbells continues cough continues to improve. 

-From birth, Campbell has been very matter of fact…no guessing what he’s thinking…before he could speak, he would let you know with his facial expressions and now, he just tells you.  Campbell is pretty attached to me….always has been.  Lately, he will push matt’s arm and say “I don’t love you…anymore.” and he’ll tell me “I love you the best.”  It’s not nice and we talk about that but it cracks us up.

- Campbell will also say “I want chocolate/juice/chocolate milk (anything that he doesn’t get often)…it’s my favorite.”  Then, he melts down when we tell him “no”.  I think that if he says it’s his favorite, it should be given to him.