and here it goes…another bullet post…sorry about that…because you know that this is when I dump all of my random thoughts onto this post!
- OVERWHELMED- see the picture below…I’m a tad overwhelmed. I look at that picture and it really still shocks me that I’m responsible for all three of those children…they are mine. God gave them to me to raise and I feel like 90% of the time I am doing a horrible job. I just don’t have enough time to spend with each one of them individually. Let’s take this afternoon as an example…for some strange reason Campbell has been super clingy and a little difficult. He has always wanted me to “hold me”…he literally says that and “tractor” a million times a day…however, he has added another request to the “hold me”… “round”…so know it’s “hooooold meeee……round” and most of the times these requests are not so much requests but more like screaming demands. and in case you haven’t figured it out “round” means to walk aROUND. So he wants me to hold him while walking around….and he wants me to do this a lot. Honestly, I probably should just do it…it would be great exercise to carry that chunk around. But, you know I am a mean mom so I usually don’t give into demands such as those….especially when they are shouted at me at volume ten. Anyway, back to this afternoon. Campbell woke up VERY clingy. He screamed and cried NON STOP for and hour and a half….I KID YOU NOT!!!!! And, in the mean time, he woke his sister who was then in a horrible mood so I held both…not walking around which completely ticked Campbell off so he proceeded to push Larkin and try to convince me to put her on the “ground” or back in her “bed”. Again, he didn’t get his way…poor little guy. AND, his rage came out and I got hit a few times…**head shaking** Poor guy….he must learn. No hitting momma! SUch a hard lesson to learn when she’s a mean momma. Anyway, the whole time…an hour and a half, Trigger didn’t get a single bit of attention except to help by getting things for me. I know he is starved for attention and I KNOW that is most of the reason for his rage and lashing out but I am trying my best and still feel like such a failure most of the time.
- Speaking of guilt, I am not sure the last time that I have been able to cook a real meal for my family. Matt is probably tired of sandwiches, hot dogs, spaghetti, cereal, or breakfast food. Because of what I described above, it is almost impossible to cook supper…I could cook it ahead of time…like earlier in the day…I have done that before but then I miss good play/interaction time with my little ones.
- Larkin isn’t rolling from her back to her stomach yet…she is 4.5 months old and it really doesn’t stress me out that much but I know it’s because she is almost NEVER on the ground. AND, lets face it, she probably wont be on the ground for awhile..not until she can defend herself from her wild brothers.
- I had to take Larkin to the dr again on Monday. We were just there last Friday to have her ears and Trigger’s checked for ear infections. Her left ear was not infected anymore so the second antibiotic that she was on finally worked. Dr. Slusher did note that she still had fluid in her left ear (which is not uncommon and can last up to 6 weeks after an ear infection…yes, I shouldve gone to med school)…but the strange thing was that she had developed fluid on her right ear…she hadn’t had any…and she developed it WHILE ON ANTIBIOTICS which isn’t a great sign…dr slusher told us friday to bring her back in at the first sign of anything strange. Well, Sunday morning her eye started draining green gunk. I knew from the boys that that was a big indicator (maybe just for us) that they probably had something else going on. SO, I took her to dr. moak on Monday…Are you sitting down? She has another ear infection…her SECOND ear infection in a month…and she’s only 4.5 months old. HIGHLY IRRITATING!!!!! THis one is in her right ear. Dr. MOak said that her left ear still has fluid that isn’t moving which is a big set up for an ear infection. She said that Larkin’s eustachian tube does not work properly. I asked her about tubes…because I know that if we have one more ear infection in the next month or so, we will be sent to Dr. Neal. She said that she hopes that with cold season ending and summer beginning that hopefully this fluid will go away with this antibiotic and that we will be in the clear until the fall….but, and these are her exact words “….but with your family history, probably not looking so good…but we can hope”. So we will go back NEXT thursday for a recheck…hopefully one antibiotic can clear this up instead of doing two like we did last time.
- I realized about a week ago that Campbell’s birthday is pretty much here…He will be two on June 3rd. I had assumed that we would have a tractor party because Campbell is OBSESSED WITH THEM…OBSESSED! However, I had/have nothing planned…no invitations ordered…no ideas researched…no decorations made. So, I’m sorry, Campbell, but it looks like we will be going the simple route this year. I hate that but the older I get and the more children I have, the more I realize that they truly don’t care about what I care about….and I just don’t have the time that I once had…NOW, I say all of that…but I’m not going to promise that I won’t sneak in something last minute…I’ll try to remember that décor and all the extra isn’t important…I WILL TRY! Ha!
Okay…it’s getting really late and I have lots to do still so I’m done with my random thoughts…more later!
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