The COUNTDOWN has begun!!!

I talked to Dr. Harper today (while he was working at “the farm”.  He scheduled me for a csection at the hospital on Thursday, June 3rd.  I have to tell you that I am very nervous about doing the right things and getting everything done.  Mrs. Flo (Dr. Harper’s nurse) is out of town…which is why Dr. Harper is out of the office (yesterday-next friday).  He is such a kind man.  Dr. Harper is coming in when he has NO other patients to deliver by csection during his week off.  He could’ve made me wait until after he got back, but he didn’t AND I AM SO VERY thankful.  Anyway, like i was saying, it makes me nervous because you know that the doctors don’t usually give the patients the details.  So, Dr. Harper was giving me the run-down on my heparin injections.  I have to take my last one (before Campbell…I have to start back afterwards for SIX weeks) on Tuesday night.  I have to stop my aspirin tonight.  I go for an NST (non-stress test) tomorrow (Saturday) and Tuesday.  Then, he says, “when you go for blood work…you need to write this down because i don’t have anything to write on…you need to have your PT and PTT checked.”  My response (like an idiot), “What blood work?  When?  Where?” He answered my questions about the bloodwork.  I’m guessing that Michelle will tell me what time to be there on Thursday and all the other details. My fear is that I will get to the hospital Thursday morning and the nurses will say, “I’m sorry…you can’t have your csection today because of ‘x,y, and z’.”  Wouldn’t that be awful. 

This afternoon I sat in a chair in the den for a couple of hours making lists of things that need to be done…things that need to be bought.  It’s all so overwhelming.  I have been packed but have to really pack myself all over because I’ve pulled out things here and there.  So this weekend, we are gonna work on my lists and spend LOTS of quality time spoiling Trigger!  I’m looking forward to our weekend.  As the last days are dwindling down, it’s bittersweet for me.  I can’t wait to meet our precious Campbell.  BUT I’m so going to miss my one-on-one time with my precious Trigger…who by the way, thinks he’s still a baby.  He sees his pictures and says, “baby, baby” and when I ask him if he’s a big boy, most of the time he will say, “no, no, no”.  So I ask, “are you a baby?” and he nods his head yes.  I’m not sure why I should expect anything different…we constantly say, “baby, stop doing that”…or “go put that up, baby”.  I use the word as a term of endearment…like at school I am known for calling my children “angels”…like “Angel, I need you to sit on your bottom, criss-cross.” or “Angel, I need you to stop coloring on my tables.”  School= Angel; Home= Baby.  You get the idea!  So I guess I will have TWO babies.  :)

Anyway, that is our plan…next Thursday, June 3rd.  Let me share one more thing that makes me nervous before I go…just because I am trying to be real and trying to remember everything on here.  I pumped for 8 months with Trigger.  Most of you probably know that…I was a milking COW.  I had so much milk that I could have fed two (maybe three) babies….60-65 ounces a DAY!  It really was unbelievable…I threw out about 30 boxes with 10 bags in each of them…each of those bags contained about 7 oz. of b.milk.  I was so thankful because Trigger never had any formula…he got b.milk until he was 15 months old!!!!  Anyway, I pumped because Trigger couldn’t breastfeed in the beginning…he was too small and LSU dr.s were too concerned about knowing how much milk he was getting.  By the time, I could’ve started breastfeeding him, I went back to work…WHEN HE WAS FIVE WEEKS (3.5 weeks after we brought him home)!  Please tell how I did that??!?!  Anyway, I plan to breastfeed this time.  Mainly because I can’t pump…not with Trigger climbing the walls and a newborn…I just don’t think I can be strapped to a machine!  So I’m a pumping expert but not so much with breastfeeding.  I hope we can get the hang of it!  Also, I’m so not good at tactfully saying things to people.  So if you come visit and I have to feed the baby, I hope I don’t tell you in a rude way to step out.  I have tried for a long time to say things in a nice way but it always comes across rude.  PLEASE KNOW that I’m trying to be…it’s always a very awkward thing to say that you need everyone to leave so you can bare all and feed your baby!

I’ll be back with some precious pictures of Trigger!

Nigh, nigh!

One Saturday, Trigger was NOT napping.  I heard him in his room talking…after leaving him for awhile, I finally went in there to get him.  This is what I saw in his bed. 

That would be the cord to his sound machine.  He has always been obsessed with cords and electrical outlets…yes, I realize that it’s not safe!  We have moved his bed down again.  But it seems like we might have to move it to the center of the room because everywhere we move it, he finds something dangerous to do! I am told that his mischievousness means he’s smart…I sure hope so because it wears this momma out worrying about him!

After we he decided NOT to nap, he was enjoying just playing in his bed so I left him in there so I could just take some pictures of him! Oh and the main reason he didn’t want to get out: because he didn’t want to give up his “pati” (pacifier).  He’s only allowed to have it in bed!

I absolutely LOVE this picture (actually, I love the one above and below).  He LOVES that bus!!!

 

And, he thought we were going to leave him to go to “nigh, nigh”.  Soooo ROTTEN!

Trigger had hurt his toes two different times riding his tractor without shoes.  They have taken weeks to heal and he has used those toes for everything.  If he gets in trouble for throwing his food down at the table, he pokes his lips out and starts crying, “toes…toes…toes”.  Ummm…honey, those toes won’t get you out of everything.  The lip, however, does a number on momma! :)

Can you tell that he uses his toes to stop his tractor?!?!

And he has learned that kissing his injuries makes everything better…even if you have to do it yourself!

Or give it a little lick…YUCK!

In pregnancy news, I had my appt with Dr. Harper yesterday.  He agreed that 38 weeks would be a good stopping point but had to look over my file, talk to hospital, and look at my non-stress test to make his final decision.  He is not in the office today (thursday) through next Friday.  Sooo if we do a csection, then he will just have to come in on his time off to do it.  LOVE HIM!!!!!  I’m waiting on a call from him to make the final decision about a day, what to do with my heparin, etc. Oh and I will definitely be having a csection.  If this talk bothers you, you can stop reading.  Dr. Harper checked me and of course there was NO change (nothing has happened…not dialated).  He predicted my first appt with him when I was pregnant with Trigger that I would not be able to deliver vaginally because of a small pelvis but said that the pelvis can do amazing things.  When we delivered Trigger (4lbs 5oz), LSU dr.s said there was no way I could deliver a baby bigger than him…and that it was hard for Trigger to make it through.  So, when Dr. Harper checked me yesterday, I asked if Campbell had dropped at all.  He said, “NOPE and he won’t!” What?  Dr. Harper said my pelvis is small in two areas.  The top area is so small that it won’t even allow Campbell to drop down.  Then, if he did get through there, he couldn’t make it past the bottom part of my pelvis because it’s too small.  He said he was surprised that I delivered a 4lb baby because he would guess that I’d have trouble with a 3 pounder.  SOOOOO…i will definitely be having a c-section and i’m thinking that I might be seeing a leg come out of my throat ANY day now. A C-section is NOT my first choice of course but I KNOW without a doubt that Dr. Harper does NOT do csections unless they are ABSOLUTELY necessary.  That’s what I love about him.  He’s by the book and very old school.  Dr. Harper is not c-section happy!  The great news is that I will not have to labor for two WHOLE days this time!!!!  However, I guess I will be trading that in for the pain I will have afterwards! ;)

Gotta LOVE being a woman. 

More Bathtime

I’m sure most of you get sick and tired of seeing bathtub pictures but Trigger LOVES bathtime!  And it’s an easy time to get some pictures of him because he is contained in one area..haha!  So I’m posting bathtub pictures today. 

In the middle of pictures, I’m just going to share my heart and some random things/feelings I have.  Before I begin, the first picture is of Trigger doing his “homework” that Mrs. Kristi (our speech therapist) has given him.  Trigger is doing alot better with his speech but he still drools alot.   Some of his muscles in his cheeks just aren’t strong enough.  So, we have put away all sippy cups and replaced them with ONLY straw cups.  PLUS, he has to suck something thick once a day (like yogurt, jello, etc.)  He also has to blow five times on this harmonica morning and night.  THAT is the hard part.  It’s just hard for me to remember…that would be why we were doing it in the bathtub…because I had forgotten. 

I also wanted to say that Trigger has gotten very brave in the bathtub.  He likes to lay down in the water now. 

Well, on my irritated post, I am sorry if I sounded really harsh.  I really didn’t mean to be ugly.  Matt came home and said it was a pretty harsh post but to NOT apologize for my words because that’s how I felt.  Well, I am apologizing.  However, it was from my heart and I was feeling those things.  I have received soooo many emails/comments on that post.  I haven’t responded to everyone’s emails….I’m sorry!  Please know that I have gotten them and they meant ALOT to me! 

I feel like I need some bullets for these thoughts because none of them really connect.  If you know me, that’s kind how my thoughts are though.  I’m a very scattered thinker.  Poor Matthew is getting better at following along.  Chasten, I have to say, usually doesn’t skip a beat and knows what I’m talking about. :)

So I’m having mixed feelings.  I am so ready for Campbell to arrive.  In fact, stillbirth (and our increased risk of it)  scares me so bad.  We should be covered because of the nonstress tests that I am having twice a week.  If you have a good one, your baby should live for five days.  That should give me a little comfort but it really doesn’t.  It’s probably a good thing that we don’t have an excessive amount of money like Tom Cruise or I would probably want Matt to buy me an ultrasound machine.  :) And I’m sure that would be just wonderful for me and that I would have NO fears after that…hahahaha!  That would just create a whole new set of fears and anxieties!  I just really am at the point that my body hurts at night…I’m pretty good during the day…that I’m ready to deliver Campbell.  I’m ready for him to be here in my arms where I can see him breathing and know that his little heart is beating. 

And then there is Trigger.  I know every mother must go through this when they are pregnant with the second child.  I am worried about his transition.  I’m sure it will be just fine.  But I truly feel sorry for him.  I feel like we have built him up for disappointment.  He, of course, has been our WORLD.  I will catch Matt and I just watching Trigger eat or play…and I think…this poor child has NO IDEA what is coming!  Matt says…and it is totally true…that he NEEDS a sibling.  He needs someone to take some attention off of him.  I don’t know that it would be healthy for him to have this much attention for a long time…he might would have problems in life! :) I do wonder how I will juggle both a toddler and a newborn.  Trigger is a smart little boy.  I think he’s already figured out that something is going on.  Matt says that I’m crazy but I truly think he’s already begging for attention.  I’m probably not helping things!  I’ve been trying to help him prepare…as much as you can with a 21 month old!  I have shown him pictures of me and Matt holding a baby (Trigger when he was a baby) and I we have started this thing where I say, “where’s momma’s baby” and he’s suppose to point to my belly.  Then I say, “where’s momma’s big boy” and he points to himself and says “big boy”.  However, he usually points to himself for both “momma’s baby” and “momma’s big boy”.  And truth be told, he is my baby too!  I just can’t get over how much he’s turning into a big boy.  I’m in denial!!!!

I am 36 weeks…will be 37 weeks on Thursday.  I can NOT believe I have made it this far.  We are not planning on having any more children.  As I have said many times, it’s too hard on my body and the dr.s have advised against it.  In fact, our fertility/RE dr., when we first mentioned that we wanted to have another child before we were pregnant with Campbell, asked us if we had thought about adoption.  Not that there is anything wrong with adoption…I think adoption is wonderful!  But, I don’t/didn’t feel lead to adopt.  Who knows what the future will hold?!?!  I did ask Dr. Harper a couple of months ago if he thought I should have my tubes tied.  He said he didn’t think it was a decision to be making at the end of my pregnancy with all the hormones…and if I had ANY reservations then it was not up for discussion anyway.  Well…of course I have reservations so we are not having my tubes tied.  I did ask Dr. Harper again what he thought about having more children…he said I could if I didn’t want to live…GOTTA LOVE DR. HARPER!!!! :) so I’m thinking that we will not be getting pregnant again.  And, supposedly, we can’t get pregnant on our own anyway!  I say that and I will probably be pregnant when Campbell is three months old….SHHHHHH!  I shouldn’t have even said that!  Anyway, I just went off on that…I was just saying all of that stuff because I am trying to be thankful for these last days being pregnant since I will probably NEVER be pregnant again.  I do LOVE those little (sometimes huge) movements…I would prefer that they were a little lower and NOT under my ribs but I LOVE them! I am still planning on making my blog private.  I just don’t really know how that works and haven’t felt like figuring it out.  I’m thinking I have to invite people?!?  And, that I may have to have your email address.  When I figure it out, I will probably post something about sending me your email address if you want to follow the blog.  Then, give everyone a week or so to respond.  I just feel like this might be a little safer to have my blog private!

One more thing…and again…i know that these are random comments.  But I’m trying to remember all these different things since I don’t scrapbook.  As I have said/posted before, I have to get Heparin shots twice a day.  I’m pretty sure I am getting too much…and I’m pretty sure that my blood is as thin as water.  It’s very strange.  I will get my shot and it won’t even bleed.  THEN, a few hours later, the spot just starts bleeding and bleeding and will continue for up to 7-8 hours.  WEIRD and a little freaky!  We (Matt and I) have taken it upon ourselves to back down on my dosage.  My current dosage is ALOT more than what I was taking with Trigger and I think it’s just gotten to be too much for me. 
Okay…this is EXTREMELY long…and I’ve got to actually go take a shower before Trigger comes back home! :)

Our Saturday

We have had an excellent Saturday.  We woke up early…and then we did something we have NEVER done with Trigger.  We went to Huddle House for breakfast.  He LOVED it.  I have pictures on my other camera but it’s in my car and I am not walking out in the heat to get it.  So I will post those later.  I do have one from Matt’s phone…

After we went to Huddle House, we went to Walmart to get some things that I knew we needed at the house before Campbell arrives.  While we were there, we bought Trigger a little pool.  When we came home, we put up all the walmart stuff.  Then, I striped Trigger down with the intentions of putting his swimsuit on to go get in his NEW POOL!  However,  I got distracted with my list.  Oh…I forgot to mention that my goal for this weekend was to get EVERYTHING on THE list completed.  The problem (like all my lists I ever make) is that I mark one thing off and add another 2-3 things.  Anyway, I had told Matt that he was in charge of keeping me on task.  He HAS helped accomplish alot today!

Back to the distraction….Trigger was running around naked pulling his puppy on a string (that he’s had since Christmas but just now really discovered). I would share those pictures but most are inappropriate and I don’t want him to kill me in 10 years….haha…because I’m SURE he wont kill me for the underwear on the head pictures from a few days ago. :)  Oh wait…this one isn’t that inappropriate.

I did turn at one point and found him with his camo boots on (remember our obsession with shoes)…he was laid up in my chair reading a book.  I thought these pictures were funny!

We finally made it outside around 11.  Trigger did NOT like it at all…in his defense, the water was COLD!  He cried and we finally went inside WHICH made him cry even more because I swear that the child could LIVE outside! 

Trigger took about an hour nap.  When he got up, he had a LITTLE bitty lunch and we went to Mommy’s school. I had to drop off my scrapbooks for graduation.  SCRAPBOOKS were at the top of my to-do list…MARK THAT OFF.  WHEW…I finally finished those dang time consuming precious scrapbooks….haha…I really do like the scrapbooks it’s just that they take FOREVER!

 

When we got back from school, I (with Trigger’s help) made a pound cake for my brother’s bday tomorrow. 

Now, we will see if it makes it to him.  I have already had a piece. :) I just couldn’t resist!

At some point Trigger decided he wanted his boots on again instead of his tennis shoes, so he sat patiently in the playroom and put them on.  He came out with them on the right feet…I asked him to bring me his tennis shoes.  He went back to the playroom and brought them to me.  The child is GREAT at following directions WHEN HE WANTS TO!  Anyway, this is what I saw when he brought them back to me.

Do you see what I see? He did exactly what he sees me do all the time.  He took his shoes off, took his socks off, and then he stuffed one sock in each shoe.  I LOVE IT.  HOW ORGANIZED is this little boy.  It was a fluke, I’m sure.  BUT I STILL LOVE IT!

Tonight, Trigger decided that he LOVES his pool…probably because the water was warm after being out in the sun all day.  Tomorrow will be a whole new ballgame though…he’s the most fickle little boy that I have ever met!

If you look closely at the picture above, Trigger has an outie belly button…never dreamed I would have a child with an outie because no one in my family has one.  I think it’s cute though.  If you look right above his belly button, you can see the little bulge.  That would be his hernia that he’s had since birth.  It kind of worries me sometimes, but Dr. Slusher said it was fine as long as it doesn’t grow too big!  No one ever told us about his hernia in the NICU.  Dr. Slusher discovered it at one of our first visits…at the same time that the discovered his heart murmur/hole in his heart (also wasn’t detected at LSU).  I will never forget that appt with Dr. Slusher…we so thought we were in the clear to leave with a list of things that were a little “off” with Trigger. NOTHING serious though, thank goodness!

It was hot and Trigger kept asking for his “nilk” but that sounded gross to be drinking milk in the heat while in the pool so I gave him some of my water…of course he wanted COMPLETE control….I have NO idea where he gets that from ;)

Gabe, Amy, and Baby Nolan came over this evening for a quick visit too.  I FINALY got to hold Nolan.  I didn’t hold him long because he was already hot and my pregnant body was RADIATING heat and I didn’t want to make the poor baby even more hot!  He is just precious.  Trigger pretty much ignored him at first…probably because he was too busy abusing Uncle Gabe! Ha! but then he became very interested in Nolan.  When they left, we asked him if he liked the baby and he said, “i did”!  Hope he likes Campbell too. :)

That was an extremely long post but i wanted to document our FUN day.  And I have to say that my bp has looked good today…it was high this morning but has been good the rest of the day.  I GIVE UP trying to predict it…there is no rhyme or reason to it which is aggravating. 

OH and the great news is that I got HALF of the “to-do” list completed….the other half HAS to happen tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!

A little irritated~

First, let me say that I am seriously considering making this blog private (only family and VERY close friends) because of negative comments and certain individuals who are trying to throw things in my face.  I started this blog because I truly do not have the time, energy, or money to scrapbook the way I would like to!  I absolutely LOVE pictures so this is a great way to keep them all in one place since I don’t print them out anymore.  It’s great because now you can print your blog out into a book soooo it’s pretty much your life in a book!

I’m irritated BECAUSE (and let me just say that I called this one) I have certain people who are assuming that since I do a few activities, my blood pressure and health are fine.  That is NOT the case.  Dr. Harper took me off work at 26 weeks.  My bp has NOT been great and I have been upping my meds.  Honestly, my bp is more like a roller coaster right now.  I know of several people (grandparents and usually elderly) that have chronic hypertension that have this problem alot.  I, however, do NOT have the roller coaster blood pressure.  If I checked my bp right now, it would be high I’m sure.  But there are times lately where it bottoms out…weird because I’m not used to that.  When it’s low, I can barely get up because I feel so weak.  Then, the next minute it is over 140/90.  Dr. Harper has told me that since I have chronic hypertension AND because I’m so anal about checking it and my health, he has given me more leeway than the normal patient…otherwise, I would’ve probably been in the hospital OR already delivered Campbell. 

Matt and I feel very blessed because we have made it this far.  Most people are so supportive of that and agree with us that three things have contributed to Campbell staying in longer:

1. LOTS of prayer

2. Being on different blood thinners (higher dosage this pregnancy than with Trigger)

3. Being off of work.

I am a GENIUS at covering up my emotions and making everyone THINK everything is ok.  Matt is probably the ONLY one that knows when I am bottling something up that truly bothers me…yes, i rant and rave alot but the things that really bother me, NO ONE KNOWS.  I have been like that since a child and Liz fully believes it contributes to my hypertension.  If you have gotten the impression that this pregnancy has been rosey because you have seen me out occasionally, I can assure you that it has NOT been rosey.  Now, I am not complaining because we have had (so far) a much better outcome than with Trigger.   I’m tired of shots…if you haven’t had a heparin shot in your belly, I pray you never experience it…BURNS..and that’s twice a day.  I spend double (actually it’s probably triple) the time at the dr./hospital  than the average pregnant person.  Bc of my blood pressure, my hands have swollen so much that my ring size has increased by three sizes!!!  I cried for about an hour last night because of the pain that I have been having.  I almost had a full out panic attack with chest pains today because I was trying to remember if/when Campbell moved because I feel responsible….if you don’t know, we are at greater risk for a stillbirth (all three of my conditions causes my risk to go up individually…so altogether, Im at GREAT risk).  I truly am the ONLY one that can tell the dr. if something is not going right.  A little stressful…because of course I want Campbell to be delivered healthy.  Honestly, I have wanted Dr. Harper to just do the csection so he could be out of my body.  I know that may sound crazy but at this point, he would be fine and it would make me feel better to be able to look at him breathing.  I am having these NST’s twice a week and hopefully that will catch something early enough.  I just read the other night that if you have a “reactive” (good) NST, your baby should survive for 5 days.  Most of you don’t know that our NST on Tuesday was not exactly the best.  He said that Campbell wasn’t showing enough variability….my thoughts, “let’s just go now and get him out”.  We waited and repeated the NST on Thursday and it was fine.  He’s letting me go for the weekend (mainly because he’s not there today and the weekend).  I have to go first thing monday morning and have another NST and have to go straight to see him (I don’t have an appt…so I will prob be there forever). 

I’m not sure why I am explaining all of this.  I’m not trying to complain because there are people out there with babies that have serious illnesses and mine does not (that we know of).  However, those of you that want to judge me for being at home to rest so I can have a healthy pregnancy, please stop reading my blog. I don’t post for you.  I post for my family and close friends that care to hear about what is going on and see pictures of Trigger acting up! :) So I’m off to Waltz to go get my one millionith prescription.  And please remember that I am just following dr.s orders…he took me off work…but did NOT put me on bedrest!

And one more thing, if you ask me about this post, I will not tell you the individuals that I am talking about…sorry! 

Thank you to my true friends (and family, of course) that do not judge but call to check on us and truly PRAY for us!  I really do appreciate it. 

Catalouie

My dad has a camp…really it’s more like a LODGE!  It is on Lake Louie and is about 1.5-2 hours away.  You can fish, hunt, or just relax.  It’s very nice…I know my boys are gonna have a lifetime of memories there with their daddy, poppy, and uncles.  My dad asked Matt, Trigger, and I to go down with them (daddy and Liz) for the night a couple of weeks ago.  I knew it would probably be our last little get away before Campbell is born so we jumped on the opportunity.  I was 34 weeks at the time…I was a little nervous because it is out in the middle of NO WHERE but I figured I would be fine..I had just been giving a good report from Dr. Harper a couple of days before!  Trigger had a good time…he stayed up way past his bedtime and woke up screaming at 1 AM..and ended up sleeping with me part of the night and then Matt part of the night but it was a FUN experience.  Of course as we were leaving my parents Trigger had a meltdown because he didn’t want to leave his car at Izzy’s (it’s really sydney’s pink car) that Liz so sweetly calls the TRUCK so that we feel better that he chooses it over the RED car that is his.  In his defense, it does play more music and has a few more gadgets on it.   Anyway, so we ended up taking the “truck” with us to Catalouie.  I sooooo wish I would’ve gotten a picture of him riding that pink car around the manly camp.  I really didn’t take many pictures at all but here are a few.

Oh yeah…first we stopped at this place on the way down there to get shiners (i think) so we could go fishing after Trigger was asleep.  I thought it was funny that you got your own bait and they just trusted that you would pay the right amount.

Then, we stopped at a VERY small grocery store.  As we were checking out, Trigger saw this car that you could ride in.  He’s never had the opportunity to ride in anything like this…I know, I’m a horrible momma!  Anyway, his expression didn’t change the whole time…I was expecting him to LOVE it because he LOVES cars…NOPE…not so much.  He wouldn’t even “drive” and put his hands on the steering wheel!  Check out his face…but I want you to know that he probably cried off and on for the “car” for about 10-15 minutes. 

 

Trigger playing on the back deck.

Izzy thought Trigger should try on his life jacket.  He was NOT a fan. 

Trying to undo the BUCK-LLL…

Please help me Izzy!!!

 

He loved the stairs…i'm very, very thankful that we do NOT have stairs at our house.  In the picture below, Trigger was throwing his ball down the stairs to Izzy.

And, a little Michael Jackson action…Liz wasn’t a fan of this!

Before we left, Will, the guy that runs the property, came over and brought his dog.  Trigger love her!

I will leave you with a few pictures of the camp. 

This is one of the bedrooms…the one that we slept in

I hope you have a great Friday!!!!